A prayer from the conservative jewish heart

G-ds real they said
I know this when I make my bed

The rent is due on time
I watch my little dime

But blessings to most
Are a fear of a ghost (their wallet)

And Torah is as special as my shoe
I only ask that you know where is where and who is who

So forgive me for the mixed place of prayer
No wonder most of the Torah community was not there

And I will keep kosher like most
Did I tell you about my silly ghost?

A prayer of the reformed jew

Eyes on deck!
I want to pay my rent!
I heal my own dilemma
I give little prayer to hope!

Will my day be spent skiing or yelling
Will my steak be medium red?

I hope that the rent is due on time
I give only when its genuine

But the computers tell my way
G-d was really not here to stay

And do the pork chops taste better than the spare ribs today?

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What do you call Elizabeth Warren when she writes a song?

Titillating Tree

3CPO is big on Coppertone

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See it, don't break it...

6 signs you are dating an obsessive compulsive

1. he walks in the bedroom three times at a time 2. he works from home happy but with his suit on 3. he sends his can of liberty to the drug store for a can of hope 4. he works his own day of relief out by staying away from the cat 5. he never asks you to share his bottle of spirits 6. he works like a dog and plays like a toad.

Why is this so real?