Tea Party on the Bow of a Candy Caravan

What do you call Newt Gingrich when he waters his roses?

(Cornucopia the Great)

What do you call Newt Gingrich when he bows to the farewell express?

(Stick in the mud)

What do you call Newt Gingrich as he reads poetry at a gay rights convention?

(Battalion in Jeopardy)